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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28919781">keeping up with the msby black jackals</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/kusuos/pseuds/kusuos'>kusuos</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Haikyuu!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Atsumu is a pining mess, Bisexual Miya Atsumu, Chatting &amp; Messaging, Crack Treated Seriously, Domestic Fluff, Everyone Is Gay, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, Found Family, Getting Together, IKEA, Inunaki is a mad lad, M/M, Moving In Together, No Homophobia, Pining Miya Atsumu, Pro Volleyball Player Miya Atsumu, Pro Volleyball Player Sakusa Kiyoomi, Sakusa Kiyoomi is Bad at Feelings, Sakusa is Evil, This Is STUPID, Twitter, VLeague, idk what this is</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 12:34:26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>7,537</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28919781</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/kusuos/pseuds/kusuos</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>"What are you talking about? I hate Atsumu," Sakusa says, a strange look on his face.<br/>"You just had your tongue shoved down his throat, Omi-san," Hinata says cheerily.<br/>Sakusa scrunches up his nose. "And? I still hate Atsumu." </p><p>in which sakusa and atsumu are obliviously in love and the jackals are a chaotic mess</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio, Komori Motoya/Yaku Morisuke, Miya Atsumu/Sakusa Kiyoomi, Miya Osamu/Suna Rintarou</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>351</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. i fell in love today</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>beta read by the loml <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/tobiology/pseuds/tobiology">tobiology</a></p>
    </blockquote><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>some shenanigans and the start of something new</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>There's the click of someone's phone camera going off and all of a sudden, Atsumu is jumping out of Sakusa's lap and over the back of the couch. </p><p>"Inunaki if I see that picture on Instagram I'm going to <em> murder  </em>you." </p><p>The libero cackles and starts running out of the living room, tapping furiously at his phone. "Too late it's already posted!" </p><p>Atsumu tackles Inunaki and puts him into a headlock. "Delete it right now."</p><p>Inunaki laughs again. “It’s too late, it already has ten thousand likes and it’s probably been screenshotted, which means if I take it down there’s only going to be more questions.” </p><p>Sakusa groans, listening to their conversation from where he’s burrowed into the couch cushions. “I don’t wanna be trending on twitter again,” he whines. “I’m not even dating Miya, the fans are delusional.” </p><p>Inunaki makes a face and he looks like he really wants to say something, but he keeps his mouth shut. </p><p>“You love me Omi, admit it.” says Atsumu, finally dropping Inunaki out of the headlock and running to and then jumping on top of the curly haired man. </p><p>“Get off of me!” </p><p>Atsumu wraps his arms around him and tucks his head on top of Sakusa’s, trapping him there. </p><p>“Miya,” says Sakusa threateningly. It doesn’t stop Atsumu, who cuddles him harder. </p><p>“Atsumu,” he whines, and the bleached blonde finally gets off of him, pulling Sakusa up so they’re both sitting up and swinging his feet into Sakusa’s lap. </p><p>The use of his given name makes Atsumu smile, and Sakusa scrunches up his nose. </p><p>“Your smile is disgusting.” </p><p>Atsumu throws a pillow at him. </p><p>Sakusa catches it and throws it back at him like he's spiking a volleyball at full force, and Atsumu dodges out of the way just seconds too late. He clutches the side of his face, groaning in pain. "It's going to bruise, Omi, and I have a photoshoot next week." </p><p>The spiker rolls his eyes. "It's a <em> pillow, </em>Miya, it's not going to bruise you." </p><p>Atsumu frowns. "I hate you." </p><p>"I hate you too," says Sakusa. It feels strangely intimate, like how a couple would say ‘I love you’ and Inunaki coughs, reminding them that he's still standing in the room with them. </p><p>They scoot a few inches apart from each other, suddenly realizing how close they are. </p><p>Inunaki walks over to the folding plastic table that is currently serving as their coffee table ever since Bokuto broke the last one, and picks up the tv remote and puts on Brooklyn 99. They need to get a new one, but ever since the team's last trip to IKEA, which had ended with Atsumu and Hinata trying to race the flatbed carts in the parking lot and almost being hit by cars, Foster and Meian had been hesitant to let them go back. </p><p>Atsumu and Sakusa don’t pay attention to the show, Inunaki assumes that the setter is probably flirting with fans on Twitter, and Sakusa is doing god knows what. Inunaki guesses that he’s the one who runs the MSBY fun facts and updates account on Twitter, the one that tweets things like ‘Miya Atsumu has passed away 💔’  and ‘Bokuto Koutaro has explored ninety percent of the world’s oceans but refuses to share what he’s found’ but he’s too afraid to ask. </p><p>Most of the team, except for Atsumu, Hinata, and Bokuto keep their distance from Sakusa. He’s always been distant, not talking to the rest of the team except for the occasional ‘nice kill’ or witty comment. He’s more open over text, making everyone in the team group chat laugh whenever he makes fun of Atsumu. Inunaki thinks he’s more comfortable with the three of them because he’s known them since high school, and they know his boundaries better. </p><p>After a while, there’s a shout of Bokuto’s signature “Hey, hey hey!” from the front door, and then he comes barrelling into the dorms, arms full of groceries. </p><p>“Can I go into the kitchen? I’ll just put the stuff away, I won’t touch the stove, I promise, ” he asks Meian, who walks in behind him. Ever since he almost burned the dorms down while trying to cook Hinata a surprise breakfast for his birthday, he’s not allowed to set foot in the kitchen except for during meals. </p><p>Meian sighs and nods, and Bokuto sets the groceries on the counter. Sakusa gets up, shoving Atsumu’s feet off of his lap and walking into the kitchen to see what Bokuto bought. </p><p>“Did you seriously only buy energy drinks and snacks? Have you ever heard of a vegetable?” Sakusa’s voice floats into the living room from the kitchen and Meian and Inunaki both have to stifle a laugh. </p><p>Bokuto makes a face. “Vegetables suck.” </p><p>“You’re right, but how the hell are we supposed to make dinner with this?” </p><p>“We?” Atsumu shouts from the living room. “You can’t cook for shit, Omi-kun.” </p><p>“Shut up, Miya.” </p><p>Bokuto laughs. “Mean, Omi.” </p><p>“As I should be,” Sakusa shoots back. “Miya!” he calls. “Can you just make us Onigiri for dinner.” </p><p>“Fuck no, do I look like your personal chef?” </p><p>“Well, I would ask Hinata, but he has a date with Tobio tonight, and you’re the only one left who can cook actually decent food.” Sakusa replies. </p><p>“Hinata has a what now?” Inunaki shouts. </p><p>Atsumu sighs. “Fine. But only because you need to be in top shape for our upcoming tournament and you won’t be if you just eat junk food.” </p><p>Sakusa grins, finally having gotten his way. He usually does when it comes to Atsumu. </p><p>Barnes, one of  their middle blockers, has a theory that Sakusa and Atsumu are secretly in love and fight to hide it. He’s always trying to discreetly walk in on them making out, or catch them holding hands. Everyone thinks it’s ridiculous, except for Hinata, who’s a hopeless romantic. </p><p>Inunaki repeats his question. “Since when the hell does Hinata have a significant other?” </p><p>Atsumu stares at him. “Since his third year of high school?” </p><p>“What the fuck,” Inunaki says. “No one told me.” </p><p>Sakusa laughs. “Didn’t you see the way they stared at each other during our game against the Adlers? The sexual tension was killing me.” </p><p>“I was too busy with making my flawless receives,” Inunaki says defensively. “And it’s not like I know them well enough to pick up on that, I thought they were just rivals.” </p><p>“I think everyone else already knew,” says Bokuto with a laugh. </p><p>Inunaki makes a face. “I’ve been betrayed,” he shouts. “I thought you all trusted me.” </p><p>Hinata walks into the kitchen, disturbed by the commotion. “Where’s the fire?” he asks. </p><p>“Inunaki just found out that you and Tobio-kun are together,” Atsumu replies. </p><p>The orange haired spiker laughs. “It took you that long? Don’t you remember when I got drunk and made a whole twitter thread about how much I love him?” </p><p>“I was blackout drunk, Shoyo, I don’t remember a single thing from that night,” Inunaki says. </p><p>Hinata laughs again. "Fair point. And no one betrayed you, Inunaki, you were just too dumb to catch on." </p><p>Inunaki scoffs. "Mean." </p><p>"Good for him," Sakusa says. "You've learned from the best, Sho." </p><p>Hinata smiles at the praise. "Thanks Omi-san." </p><p>"I hate that of all people, the two of you chose to become friends," says Meian. </p><p> “I didn’t choose the Shoyo loving life, the Shoyo loving life chose me,” Sakusa says, carefully accepting a high five from the fellow spiker. </p><p>Inunaki laughs. </p><p>“You terrify me,” Meian adds. “Ever since we had the prank war I’m afraid to be in the same room as both of you. </p><p>Hinata and Sakusa grin wickedly. It’s still strange for some of the team to see Sakusa’s smile, some of them are still used to him wearing a mask most of the time. In the two months they've been living together, he's started to open up around them, being less careful and talking to them more. </p><p>"Stop smiling like that, you're making me paranoid." </p><p>"Always watch your back," says Hinata, smile widening. </p><p>"You two are going to be the death of me," Atsumu says.</p><p>"You can count on it," both of them reply. </p><hr/><p>Atsumu wakes to a faceful of something wet. </p><p>At first he thinks it’s raining, but no, that can’t be, he’s ninety percent sure that he’s indoors. He groans and opens his eyes, just for more water to get into them. He rubs his eyes and when he finally opens them, he looks up to see Sakusa Kiyoomi towering over him, wielding a spray bottle that’s currently pointed straight at his face. </p><p>“Get your ass out of bed, Miya, or god help me I’ll do something I’ll regret.” he says. Sakusa’s not wearing a mask, which is expected since they’re in the dorms, but it’s still hard to get used to seeing his face every day. </p><p>Atsumu scrubs a hand over his face and groans again. “What the hell, Omi? It’s still early.” </p><p>“It’s one in the afternoon, now get<em> up </em>.” </p><p>“Fine,” Atsumu whines. “Don’t spray me again, I’m getting up.” </p><p>It actually takes him another twenty minutes to get out of bed and into a functioning state, but Sakusa doesn’t blame him. Mornings fucking suck. </p><p>They eat the breakfast that Atsumu makes together, both of them scrolling through their phones as they eat. After Sakusa puts their dishes in the dishwasher, they settle into their usual spots on the living room couch. </p><p>“Omi-omi, let’s go somewhere,” Atsumu whines. “I’m bored.” </p><p>"Where?" says Sakusa, and Atsumu grins at the knowledge that it's not a flat out no, which he would usually say the second Atsumu asked him something. </p><p>"Anywhere. I just wanna go somewhere together," he replies. </p><p>Sakusa smiles. "Are you trying to romance me? Because it's not really working." </p><p>Atsumu raises his eyebrows in surprise, but doesn't directly address Sakusa's jab. "I guess I'll just have to try harder," he says. </p><p>Sakusa's smile widens and it feels like the start of something new. </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. all i wanna do</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Shopping? Again?" Atsumu rolls his eyes. Sakusa is insufferable. </p><p>The taller man nods. "Yes again. I need new clothes. Plus you haven't gone shopping in ages and your taste is horrendous." </p><p>"Mean, Omi-omi. And we literally just went shopping last week." </p><p>Sakusa scrunches up his nose, and Atsumu has to bite back a smile at how cute the expression looks on him. “I don’t care. You were the one who said that you wanted to go somewhere, so I get to pick. You’re welcome to stay home if you want.” </p><p>Atsumu rolls his eyes again. “Fine, we’ll go shopping.” </p><p>Sakusa’s eyes light up. Sometimes Atsumu forgets that Sakusa is used to getting what he wants, as the youngest child of a rich Tokyo family. He’s not spoiled, but he’s accustomed to a certain level of luxury that’s different from Atsumu’s. “Yay,” he says, excitedly, a small smile on his face. </p><p>They take the train together. It’s crowded, and the bottom half of Sakusa’s face is obscured by a surgical face mask. He’s tense, and his body is pressed close to Atsumu’s from where they're sitting down next to each other. The blonde wants to reassure him, but he doesn't know how. He'd take his hand, but he's not sure if it would just set him off more. He may as well ask though, it's not going to hurt. </p><p>He holds his hand out to Sakusa, fingers spread in invitation. Sakusa takes it hesitantly. His hand is warm, and they stay like that for the rest of the train ride. </p><p>Atsumu can feel the callouses from years of spiking volleyballs on the palms of Sakusa's hands. As a setter, Atsumu's callouses are on his fingertips, not his palms, and he notes the contrast between them with interest, just another little thing that sets them apart.</p><p>He holds Sakusa's hand for the hour long train ride to the city, and he can feel himself starting to drift off as the train hums beneath them. </p><hr/><p><b>sakusa kiyoomi  </b>@msby15<br/>@msby13 fell asleep on the train :p <strong>[attachment: miya.jpg]<br/></strong>871🗨️ 13.7k⟲ 23.8k♡</p><p> </p><p> </p><p></p><blockquote>
  <p><strong>miya astumu  </strong>@msby13<br/>@msby15 i look so cute here<br/>853🗨️ 11.4k⟲ 22.9k♡</p>
  <p><strong>sakusa kiyoomi </strong>@msby15<br/>@msby13 ew<br/>721🗨️ 10.1k⟲ 20.7k♡</p>
</blockquote><hr/><p>Somewhere in between high school and now, Sakusa has gained some semblance of a fashion sense. He’s traded the neon yellows and greens of the Itachiyama jacket he used to wear <em> everywhere </em> for a mix of designer styles and street fashion. </p><p>Atsumu doesn’t know how he makes it work, but he does. His own style is limited to wearing what he thinks will make him look hot, and what his sponsors send him, but he manages to make it all look good. </p><p>Sakusa grabs a sheer, black, button down shirt and a pair of black jeans off of one of the racks and tosses them at Atsumu, who in his surprise, barely manages to catch them. "For me?" he manages to ask, still shocked. Sakusa nods at him. </p><p>"Why?" Atsumu asks. He has a lot of questions; he thought they were there because <em>Sakusa </em>needed new clothes, not him.</p><p> Sakusa shrugs. "I just thought they would look good on you. You look good in black," he says. </p><p>Atsumu blushes, but takes the clothes and heads for the dressing rooms in the back of the store. </p><p>Sakusa follows him, waiting outside of the door so he can wait to see what Atsumu will look like with the clothes on. </p><p>He emerges from the dressing room, running a hand through his hair nervously. </p><p>Sakusa's face flushes bright red. Curse his fucking pale complexion. Atsumu looks stunning, the shirt highlights the strong planes of his chest, and the black looks good against his tan skin. </p><p>"Are you sure this looks good on me? I'm not really that--" </p><p>Sakusa cuts him off. "You look fine, Miya." </p><p>He steels his tone and uses Atsumu's given name, scared that if he doesn't, he'll end up saying something that he'll regret. </p><p>Atsumu laughs, thankfully, not offended by Sakusa's cold comment. </p><p>"That's almost a compliment coming from you, Omi. Thanks!" </p><p>Sakusa smiles begrudgingly. "That <em>was </em>supposed to be a compliment, stupid. I <em>can </em>be nice sometimes, you know." </p><p>Atsumu laughs again. "Sure, sure." </p><p>Sakusa glares at him lightheartedly. </p><p>"Can I pick something out for you?" Atsumu asks. Sakusa is surprised, but he nods. </p><p>"Don't make me look bad, that's all I'm asking." </p><p>Atsumu grins wickedly. "No promises." </p><p>Sakusa sits down in one of the chairs and waits for Atsumu to come back with the clothes. When he returns, he's holding a black turtleneck and a long gray coat. It's more tasteful than Sakusa would've thought Atsumu would choose. </p><p>"It's inspired by something I saw someone wearing at one of my shoots last week," Atsumu says. "It reminded me of something you'd wear. I didn't pick out pants because these will just go well with the jeans that you're wearing right now." </p><p>Sakusa's stomach does flip flops at the thought that Atsumu thinks about him, that he has his own little corner somewhere in Atsumu's brain. He grabs the clothes and tries them on. Atsumu was right, they do looks good, the black and gray making his skin look even paler, and accentuating the moles on his face. </p><p>Atsumu smiles at him warmly. "I told you you'd look good in those." </p><p>"Shut up," Sakusa says softly, no malice in the words. </p><p>They pay and then make their way back to the train, bags in hand.</p><hr/><p>
  <b> <em>Komori Motoya<br/></em></b>
  <em>so kiyo,,,<br/></em>
  <em>when are u going to tell him</em>
</p><p>
  <b> <em>Sakusa Kiyoomi <br/></em></b>
  <em>????<br/></em>
  <em>tell who what</em>
</p><p><b> <em>Komori Motoya<br/></em></b><em> atsumu<br/></em> <em> when r u gonna tell him u like him  </em></p><p>
  <strong> <em>Sakusa Kiyoomi<br/></em></strong>
  <em>sure i dont like him<br/></em>
  <em>i fucking hate atsumu</em>
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>Komori Motoya </em> <br/></strong>
  <em>when why are u sitting in his lap in half of the jackals vlogs and ig posts?<br/>u literally took him shopping <br/>u dont even take ME shopping </em>
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>Sakusa Kiyoomi</em> <br/></strong>
  <em>bc he's comfy?<br/>i dont like him ur deranged</em>
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>Komori Motoya </em> <br/></strong>
  <em>sure kiyo, tell urself that</em>
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>Sakusa Kiyoomi</em> <br/></strong>
  <em>plus he's good looking <br/>like objectively<br/>he's a good model, and i knew he's look good in those clothes</em>
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>Komori Motoya</em> <br/></strong>
  <em>but u still didnt HAVE to take him<br/>it sounds like you wanted to spend time w him lol</em>
</p><p><strong> <em>Sakusa Kiyoomi</em> </strong> <em> <br/></em><em>nah</em><br/><em>we're just friends</em><br/><em>and barely that</em></p><hr/><p>"Who're you texting?" Atsumu asks as they ride the train home, their purchases resting in a bag on one of the seats next to them. </p><p>"Motoya," Sakusa responds, trying not to blush. He doesn't like Atsumu like that, and furthermore, he <em>can't. </em>It would be a mess for the team and for publicity, and it would mess with their chemistry on the court. </p><p>"Tell him to tell Suna that I say hi," Atsumu says. </p><p>Sakusa scoffs. "Tell him yourself." </p><p>"Please, Omi," he whines. How could Sakusa say no? </p><p>Sakusa stiffens at the realization. This isn't good. </p><p>Atsumu is getting through the cracks in his carefully built up armor, Atsumu is starting to worm himself into his life. </p><p>But maybe, just maybe, some part of him that he shoves deep deep down likes having him there. </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. let me know</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>feelings</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Miya Atsumu discovers the eighth circle of hell in the MSBY Black Jackals’ locker rooms. </p><p>Sure, Sakusa had always been objectively attractive, but he’d never really thought about him as anything more than that, nothing like now. He fantasized about porcelain skin and a body covered in moles and how it would feel pressed against his. </p><p>And now he has to watch Sakusa change in front of him.</p><p>“Atsumu-san, are you okay? Your face is really red,” Hinata says. </p><p>Atsumu coughs. “It’s just uh, really hot in here, Shoyo-kun,” he says. </p><p>Sakusa glances at him, confused. “Really? I’m freezing, Miya.” </p><p>Atsumu stutters, but manages to come up with a retort. “Not everyone is a walking freezer like you, Omi-omi. Plus, if you’re <em> that </em>cold, I can always warm you up,” he says, smirking.</p><p>“You’re disgusting. I hate you,” Sakusa replies, scrunching up his nose. </p><p>Atsumu laughs, glad the attention is off of his embarrassment and awkwardness. </p><p>“I meant we could cuddle,” Atsumu says. “Get your head out of the gutter.” </p><p>It’s Sakusa’s turn to blush now. “Shut up,” he mumbled under his breath, so low that Atsumu can barely hear him. </p><p>Meian sighs. “Please get a room.” </p><p>Atsumu snorts. “We’re literally in a room right now.” </p><p>The captain groans. “Get your <em> own </em>room. Don’t flirt in front of all of us, I’m getting sick of it.” </p><p>Atsumu stills. They’re not flirting, right? They’re just bantering and arguing in that friendly way they always do. Friendly. Right. They’re just friends.</p><p>He turns away and hides his face. If he ignores it for long enough, then it won’t bother him anymore, or so he hopes. </p><hr/><p>When they were younger, Atsumu would swear that he and Osamu had twin telepathy. “I swear, I can feel what you’re feeling,” he’d told his brother. </p><p>Osamu had just laughed and brushed it off, saying “That’s ridiculous and you’re fucking stupid,” but his brother always knew when something was wrong, always sent texts saying, ‘you okay?’ at just the right time. </p><p>Atsumu has had the same post losing game routine since high school. He always cries and calls his brother, who will usually let him cry for a few minutes and assure him that it wasn’t his fault, until Osamu gets tired of him wallowing in his own misery and will tease him until he’s laughing instead. </p><p>His routine after today’s loss is no different. Or so he thinks. He blinks through the tears and dials Osamu’s number, and continues to sob. </p><p>“It’s all my fault, ‘Samu,” he says. “I fumbled a few tosses and the dump I did in the fifth set was way too risky of a play for how far along we were in the game.” </p><p>There’s no response from the other end for a few seconds, which is normal, Osamu usually takes a few seconds to think of something to say. But then, comes a voice over the line. </p><p>“Miya?” </p><p>It’s Sakusa’s, he can tell from the velvety tone and the concern in his voice, but he looks back down at the caller id to make sure it really is him, and this isn’t some strange and twisted nightmare. </p><p>The text on the screen reads: Ongoing call with ‘Omi-omi’, 5:57. <em> Fuck. </em>He’s embarrassed himself, and now Sakusa is going to think he’s pathetic. </p><p>“Miya?” Sakusa repeats. “Are you alright? Wait, don’t answer that. You’re obviously not.” </p><p>Atsumu snorts through the tears. “I’m fine Omi, sorry I called you, I meant to call ‘Samu, I’ll just go now.” </p><p>He takes the phone away from his ear and moves to hang up, but before he hits the ‘end call’ button, Sakusa interrupts him. “Don't go--” </p><p>“Wh- what?” </p><p>“I mean- you can talk to me if you want,” Sakusa says. “I won’t mind, people say I’m a good listener. And no matter what you think, it’s not your fault. There are six people that stand on the court, and there are six people that lose. We win together, and we lose together. It’s what being a team means.” </p><p>Atsumu sniffles and wipes a tear away. “But if I could’ve just made that set then--” </p><p>“There are no buts, Atsu. It happened and you can’t change it. And do you remember what the Itachiyama motto was?” </p><p>“Blind everyone with our disgusting neon uniforms?” </p><p>Sakusa smiles at the sarcastic remark, it’s a sign that Atsumu is already starting to feel better. “It said ‘effort’. And you put in more effort than probably the entire team combined, earlier. And that’s what counts.” </p><p>Even though Sakusa can’t see it over the phone, he can hear the small, sad, smile in Atsumu’s voice as he replies. “That’s true, I guess. Volleyball’s the one thing I’ll always have, so I always try my best. It’s not like it can leave me.</p><p>“Hey,” says Sakusa softly. “You have me. You’ve had me for a long time and you always will.” </p><p>Atsumu feels like his insides are melting. Sakusa rarely shows affection, and when he does, he rarely flat out says what he’s feeling. He’s more the type to show that he cares through acts of service, not words of affirmation. </p><p>“Thanks, Omi. You have me too, you know?” </p><p>“I know.” </p><p>It feels like a love confession, but it’s not, Atsumu reminds himself. They’re just two teammates reassuring each other, they’re just <em> friends </em>being there for each other. He sighs. </p><p>“What’s wrong?” Sakusa asks, concerned. </p><p>Shit, he thinks. He didn’t mean for Sakusa to hear that. “I feel like Meian’s mad at me,” he says instead of what he’s actually thinking. He’s not interested in getting into the mess of feelings that he has concerning Sakusa just yet, and especially not while he’s on the phone with him. </p><p>Sakusa laughs, <em> laughs.  </em></p><p>“That’s not funny,” Atsumu says. “What’re you laughing at?” </p><p>Sakusa just laughs harder. “Oh my god, Miya, you’re a <em> mess. </em>You’re literally Meian’s favorite,” he says. “He treats you like his son, and he always checks up on you and shit. He keeps you on the team even though your personality sucks sometimes. I don’t think that there’s anything you could do that would make him mad at you.” </p><p>The reassurance is nice to hear, and it makes Atsumu feel at least a little like Sakusa’s right. </p><p>“Okay,” Atsumu says, voice still soft, but cracking from the tears. </p><p>“Okay,” Sakusa repeats. </p><p>They stay on the phone, talking until they both fall asleep, a few walls away from each other, each of them in their own respective rooms. </p><p>It’s the best sleep Atsumu's gotten in a long time. </p><hr/><p>
  <strong>
    <em>Miya Osamu<br/></em>
  </strong>
  <em>hey r u ok<br/>u didnt text or call me yesterday<br/>and u always call me after u lose a game</em>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>Miya Atsumu<br/></em>
  </strong>
  <em>yeah im </em>
  <em>fine<br/>i accidentally called omi so i just talked to him</em>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>Miya Osamu<br/></em>
  </strong>
  <em>oho?</em>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>Miya Atsumu<br/></em>
  </strong>
  <em>tf do u mean by oho?</em>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>Miya Osamu<br/></em>
  </strong>
  <em>i thought u hated sakusa</em>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>Miya Atsumu<br/></em>
  </strong>
  <em>i do</em>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>Miya Osamu</em>
  </strong>
  <em> <br/></em>
  <em>then whyd u stay on the phone w him u scrub<br/>phone calls are kinda gay</em>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>Miya Atsumu</em>
  </strong>
  <em> <br/></em>
  <em>FUCK OFF ?</em>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>Miya Osamu </em>
  </strong>
  <em><br/>lmao no </em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. but i promise you this</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>sakusa's birthday</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The days go by, and soon enough, Sakusa's birthday rolls around. </p><p>Atsumu frets over what to get his teammate, even begs Suna for Komori's number so he can ask Sakusa's cousin what to get him. Suna laughs at him when he asks. "He's your own teammate," he says. Shouldn't you know what he likes." </p><p>The words shake Atsumu to the core. Yeah, he's known Sakusa for years now, but sometimes he feels like he's not even close to scratching his surface.  "Yeah," he says instead of what he's thinking. "I just want to make sure that I'll get him something that he likes, you know?" </p><p>"Sure. You know, for someone who hates him, you really care a lot about whether or not he's going to like your birthday present," Suna says knowingly. </p><p>"I don't really hate Omi-kun," Atsumu says. "It's just our thing, you know? We just say it to each other. It's taken on a different meaning after so long." </p><p>Suna gasps. "No way." </p><p>Atsumu realizes what he's just said, and how Suna is going to hold this over his head until the end of time. </p><p>"Samu!" Suna shouts. "You hear that? 'Tsumu finally admitted it! He doesn't hate Sakusa!" </p><p>There's the sound of footsteps running down the hall, and then Osamu's voice floats over the phone. "No fucking way," he says. "Say it again, 'Tsumu, I've got to hear this." </p><p>Atsumu makes a 'tch' noise. "Fuck off, both of you." </p><p>Suna cackles. "You're never getting rid of me after this." </p><p>Osamu laughs too. "Little 'Tsumu has a big fat gay crush on Sakusa Kiyoomi. Who would've thought?" </p><p>"I do <em>not </em>have a crush on him," Atsumu shouts. "And I'm not little, I'm older than you!" </p><p>"By two minutes," Osamu retorts. </p><p>Atsumu sighs. "I hate both of you. You're the bane of my existence."</p><p>"You looooooove us," Suna says, giggling. </p><p>Atsumu hangs up on him. </p><hr/><p>The jackals gather in the kitchen for cake and presents to celebrate Sakusa's birthday.  </p><p>They all sing happy birthday to Sakusa, Hinata and Bokuto singing loudly and very off key, and Meian hitting all of the notes perfectly. </p><p>Atsumu cuts the cake and passes the slices out. They eat, and then it's time for presents. </p><p>Hinata demands that Sakusa opens his present first, and Sakusa obliges, because who can deny Hinata Shoyo anything? </p><p>Sakusa opens the sunshine yellow colored gift bag to find a soft leather jacket from a high fashion store that he likes. His mouth falls open at the sight of the gift. The jacket must have been expensive. </p><p>Hinata smiles at him. "Do you like it, Omi-san?" he asks. </p><p>Sakusa nods and does that small, twitchy smile of his that means he's truly happy. "I love it, thank you Shoyo." </p><p>Hinata's grin grows even wider. "C- can I hug you?" he asks shyly. Sakusa considers it for a second and then nods. Hinata throws his arms around the taller, curly haired man and hugs him tightly. "Happy birthday, Omi-san!" </p><p>Sakusa ruffles Hinata's hair. "Thank you." </p><p>He opens Bokuto's gift next, and it turns out to be the newest line of skincare from one of his favorite brands. He smiles as he throws away the wrapping. He thanks Bokuto and then hesitantly raises his hand for a high five. The owl eyed man slaps his hand enthusiastically and wishes him a happy birthday. </p><p>Sakusa continues to unwrap his presents, deciding to save Atsumu's for last. Atsumu notices him set it aside and swallows nervously. He hopes that Sakusa will like it. </p><p>Meian's gift is a fluffy, green, oversized blanket. "I know you get cold easily," he says as Sakusa unwraps it. "And you can share it with Atsumu when you two cuddle in the living room." </p><p>Sakusa and Atsumu both go red at the words. "Thanks, captain," Sakusa says, flustered. </p><p>Adriah and Oliver's gift is next. "We decided to get you something together," they say at the same time. "We hope you like it." </p><p>Sakusa unwraps the box like he's unwrapped all of the previous ones, being careful not the rip up the wrapping paper. Once all the paper is gone and folded away neatly, he's left looking at a light blue polaroid camera. "I love it," he says, honestly, and the opposite hitter and the middle blocker grin. </p><p>"We knew you would," they say. </p><p>"And don't worry," Adriah adds. "We'll make sure that Inunaki doesn't get his dirty little hands on it." </p><p>Inunaki scoffs. "Fuck off," he says. </p><p>Sakusa laughs. "Thanks, guys." </p><p>"Open mine next," Inunaki says, handing Sakusa a gift bag. He opens it carefully, expecting to find a prank gift, since Inunaki is the trickster of the team. </p><p>Sakusa finds a poster of one of Atsumu's magazine shoots, one where he's <em>shirtless, </em>at the bottom of the bag. His face goes bright red. "Seriously?" he asks, exasperated. He'd find it a little funny if he wasn't so flustered by the sight of the v of Atsumu's hips and his chiseled abs. </p><p>Inunaki and the rest of the team laugh at him, and Sakusa glares, lightheartedly. Inunaki grabs another gift bag from under the table and passes it to Sakusa. "Your expression was priceless," he says. "Here's your real gift." </p><p>He opens the gift bad to find a deep purple sweater that he'd been thinking of buying last week. </p><p>"How did you know I was looking at this?" Sakusa asks. </p><p>"Um," Inunaki says sheepishly. "I might have stolen your laptop and going through your shopping history? But don't worry, I sanitized it afterwards." </p><p>Atsumu cackles. "Inu-kun, you're insane." </p><p>Everyone expects Sakusa to be mad, but he laughs too. "Thank you," he says. </p><p>"My turn," Atsumu says excitedly, and slides and envelope across the table to Sakusa. "I hope you like it, Omi-omi," he says shyly. </p><p>Sakusa opens the envelope. Inside, there are two tickets to Disneyland Tokyo. Sakusa look up at Atsumu. </p><p>"I thought we could go together?" he says nervously. "The tickets are for this Saturday. And they're for after hours so that way there's less people." </p><p>Sakusa smiles at him softly. "I love it, I can't wait." </p><p>The rest of the team stays silent, not wanting to ruin their moment. Sakusa reaches across the table and squeezes Atsumu's hand. "Thank you, Atsu." Atsumu smiles back at him, meeting his gaze intensely. </p><p>They stay like that for a while, until someone coughs and they hastily look away.</p><p>Sakusa puts his presents into a pile and takes another bite of his cake. </p><p>"Now that we're done, we should take a picture with the camera," Hinata suggests, and the rest of the jackals mutter their agreement. </p><p>The team crowds behind Sakusa so they can all take the picture together, and Sakusa turns the polaroid camera around, angles it, shouts, "Smile!" and clicks the button. The shutter clicks and then the polaroid dispenses out of the top of the camera. </p><p>Sakusa shakes it until the picture starts to develop, smiling as the team comes into view. In the picture, Atsumu is pressing a kiss to Sakusa's cheek, Bokuto is holding up bunny ears behind Meian's head, and the rest of the team have their arms slung around each other. Sakusa's grin widens, and he knows that he's going to keep the picture forever. He sets the polaroid down on the table and snaps a picture of, then sets it as his phone's lock screen. </p><p>"Let me see!" Atsumu demands, and Sakusa rolls his eyes and passes the photo to him. </p><p>Hinata comes up behind Atsumu, and looks at the photo. "You look so cute there Omi-san, Atsumu-san!" </p><p>Sakusa blushes. "Thanks," he says, not wanting to be rude. </p><p>Hinata grins knowingly. "You're welcome!" He winks at them. </p><p>Sakusa sighs internally. He doesn't know for sure what Hinata is implying, but maybe some part of him wants it to be true. </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. warmth</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>"Stay?"</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>sorry i took so long to update, and that the chapters are so short! school's been killing me. i was gonna write them going to disneyland together but then i realized too many of my fics are set at amusement parks so yeah have this instead :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>They drive home from Disneyland Tokyo in soft, comfortable silence. Though he'd hate to say it out loud, it was the most fun that Sakusa's had in months. He always seems to be happiest when he's around Atsumu, which is something that he's not quite ready to address. </p><p>Sure, he likes Atsumu. He likes all of his teammates. But Sakusa's not sure if he's ready for a relationship. The last person he dated was Ushijima (which had definitely made their match against the Schweiden Adlers awkward), but both of them knew the relationship wasn't going to last and treated it like it was something temporary. He doesn't know how to do commitment, doesn't know how to love someone long enough to last. </p><p>And it's not like Sakusa can make another human being happy enough to willingly put up with him long enough to make their relationship count. He can barely even like himself. Sure, things are better now, but they're still hard. He's still on medication, and he still has bad days. </p><p>It wouldn't work with Atsumu, a small voice in the back of his head says. He's too pushy and he doesn't know when to shut up and he feels things too strongly. </p><p>He knows he's just making excuses. </p><p>Sakusa sighs and stares out the window. It's dark, and it's starting to rain. It creates a nice atmosphere he thinks, almost like they're in their own little world. </p><p>He'll try and make a move tonight, Sakusa thinks. Something to see if Atsumu could maybe, just maybe like him back. </p><hr/><p>As Atsumu drives them home, he's able to organize his thoughts and come to a realization. </p><p>He likes Sakusa. As in like, <em>likes </em>him. He likes him a lot, and their date (could he even call it a date?) today had only confirmed that. Some part of Atsumu had always known, had seen Sakusa hiding in the corner at their first All Japan Youth Camp and gone, 'that's the one'. </p><p>But he doesn't know how Sakusa feels, and he doesn't want to be the one to fuck up one of the best things in his life. </p><p>Their friendship is important to him. Hell, they've been friends for years, ever since high school, and that's longer than he's known most people, except for Shoyo and Inarizaki. </p><p>And Sakusa closes himself off easily. They've fought a lot, and it's only recently that they're able to be completely themselves around the other person without pissing the other off or accidentally upsetting them. Sakusa's like a Venus flytrap, or one of those plants that hides away every time people try and touch it. </p><p>Atsumu can't fuck this up. </p><p>Sakusa's voice breaks the silence. "You look like you're thinking hard. </p><p>Well if that isn't the understatement of the century. </p><p>"Just thinking about today," Atsumu replies. "I had a lot of fun." </p><p>"Me too," Sakusa says. "I was about to say that I wasn't expecting to, but things are usually fun if they're with you." </p><p>Atsumu grins. "Yeah." </p><p>They fall silent again.</p><p>By the time they reach Sakusa's apartment, it's late, sometime past midnight. The rain has stopped, and the night air is cold and a little damp. </p><p>Atsumu walks Sakusa to the door. "Well, this is you, and it's late, so I should just get going." </p><p>"You're just next door, just leave the car here for now it's fine." </p><p>"I promised 'Samu I'd drop by his house," Atsumu says apologetically. </p><p>He turns around to leave, but Sakusa stops him with a hand on his shoulder. "Just stay," he says, a soft smile on his face. Atsumu stares at him.</p><p>"What?" </p><p>"You can stay the night," Sakusa repeats. "It's late, and you're tired, just stay. Your brother's probably asleep by now. You can drive home in the morning or we can go get breakfast together or something and then you can go see him." </p><p>Atsumu blushes. "Okay." </p><p>They walk inside. </p><p>Atsumu's been here before, but the late hour makes it seem strangely intimate. </p><p>He excuses himself, saying that he has to use the bathroom. He locks the door, clamps his hands over his mouth, and lets out a muffled scream. He still can't believe that Sakusa just invited him to spend the night at his apartment, let alone the fact that he'd smiled at him while he said it. </p><p>"Get it together, Atsumu," he tells himself in front of the mirror, splashing cold water on his face. "It's fine." </p><p>He steps out of the bathroom after a few minutes, finally having regained some of his composure. </p><p>Sakusa throws a shirt and a pair of sweatpants at him, and in his surprise, Atsumu barely manages to catch them.</p><p>"I thought you were better than that, Mr. Number Two in the V League Setter," Sakusa says with a smirk. </p><p>Atsumu sputters. "I set and receive, I dont <em>catch </em>things!" </p><p>"Excuses, excuses," Sakusa replies, smiling. Atsumu thinks that he's seen Sakusa smile more times today than he has in the past year combined. It's nice. "The clothes are for you by the way, go shower and change so we can go to sleep." </p><p>The way that Sakusa says 'we' only makes his blush deepen, and he rushes back into the bathroom, trying to hide the fact that he's flustered. </p><p>Atsumu showers and changes into the clothes that Sakusa gave him. They're a little too big, and the long sleeve is long enough that the sleeves cover his hands. </p><p>It's intimate, wearing someone else's clothes, especially when that person is Sakusa and hardly opens up to other people. Atsumu snaps himself out of his thoughts and walks out of the bathroom. If he keeps thinking any more, he's pretty sure that his head is going to explode. </p><p>Sakusa's already under the covers when he walks into the bedroom, and he lifts the blankets up and motions for Atsumu to join him. Atsumu does. They lay there for a bit, facing each other, Sakusa's hair spread around his head and against the pillowcase like a halo. </p><p>"Goodnight Omi," Atsumu says eventually, just because he feels like he needs to break the silence. </p><p>"Goodnight, Atsu," Sakusa says. </p><p>They stay like that, staring at each other until their eyelids grow heavy and they drift off. </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. started with a spark</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>AYYY A FLASHBACK CHAPTER :P</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>i tried my best to fit this in well sorry if it's a mess</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Sometime last night, Sakusa Kiyoomi had come to a realization.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Atsumu probably didn’t even know he way gay, let alone that he liked him. </span>
  <span>Sure, he’d never mentioned a girl before, but no one on the team knew that he’d dated Ushijima and he’d never said anything outright. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sakusa still remembers the exact moment he’d figured out his sexuality. It was during his second year of high school, and funnily enough, it had to do with Atsumu. (Everything always had something to do with Atsumu, he was always haunting him. He doesn’t know what to do about it).  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Omi-kun,” Atsumu had said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sakusa turned towards where Atsumu had called his name from. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What, Miya?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was no malice in the words, and Atsumu grinned at that. “Growing soft on me?” </span>
  <span>Sakusa shook his head fiercely. “Never.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Atsumu nodded, like that was the answer he wanted to hear. “Good.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The curly haired boy stared at him for a second, then realized the reason they started talking in the first place. “What’d you call me over for? It’s almost time for showers.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh yeah!” Atsumu said. “We should go up to the roof tonight. One of the third years said you can see the whole city from up there, and it’s real pretty when the sun sets.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Saksua mulled the idea over in his head until he finally had an answer. “Fine.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Atsumu’s eyes lit up at his answer. He obviously hadn’t been expecting Sakusa to say yes. “Really?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sakusa nodded. “I’ll see you later.” </span>
</p><hr/><p>
  <span>“Hold my hand,” Atsumu said. “It’s scary being out here all alone. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sakusa rolled his eyes, but took Atsumu’s left hand in his right. “Sorry, my hands are cold.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Your hands are fine,” Atsumu said, running his thumb over Sakusa’s knuckles gently. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sakusa shivered at the touch. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Once they’d climbed another set of stairs and finally reached the roof, Atsumu crouched down and moved into a position where he was laying on his side, gesturing for Sakusa to come join him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sakusa wrinkled his nose at the thought of laying on the dirty floor. Atsumu stared at him for a second until he realized what was wrong. “Here,” he said, handing Saksua his jacket. “You can sit on this.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sakusa took it. “Thanks.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The third year who’d told Atsumu about coming up there was right. You really could see the whole city from the spot. They sat in silence, Tokyo beneath them, waiting for the other to say something. That was the way they were with each other, tentative but always sure they’d get somewhere eventually.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sakusa was the first one to speak. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know, I think I missed this.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Atsumu snorted.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You think? I thought you loved me more than that.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sakusa froze. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He didn’t love Atsumu, hell, at that age, Sakusa didn’t even have anything close to a grasp on what love was. But nonetheless, the words hit him and made him feel like he’d been dunked in ice water. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I hate you,” he managed to mumble, instead of sputtering out his racing thoughts. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But why did he blush whenever their hands touched, why did he feel warmer inside when Atsumu smiled than he ever did, why did he feel more alive than ever each time he faced off against Atsumu? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Omi”? Atsumu said quietly, concerned because Sakusa had gone silent and still. “Are you okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When Sakusa didn’t answer, Atsumu said, “I was just trying to joke around with you the way we normally do, I’m sorry if I did something wrong.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know you get anxious really easily and I’m sorry if I triggered that, I-” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Saksua cut him off. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You did nothing wrong, Atsumu.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Atsumu was surprised by the use of his first name. Sakusa said it filled with meaning, not dripping with sarcasm the way it had been earlier, like it meant something that he couldn't say just yet.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sakusa continued. “It’s just me. I’m sorry, I just-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Atsumu was the one to cut him off this time. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You don’t have to explain yourself to me, we can talk about it if you want or we can just lay here together, the sun should be setting soon,” he said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay,” Sakusa said gently. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Atsumu moved closer to Sakusa tentatively, seeing if he would pull away. He didn’t, moving closer too so that they were side by side, just a small bit of space between them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sakusa was silent again. He had always known that there was something more in what he and Atsumu had, but he’d never let himself  think about it before, pushing the thoughts down with all his strength. He knew he’d never be able to come out, at least not at home, and not professionally, it would ruin his relationship with his family and his reputation. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He knew he’d never looked at girls like the other boys had, never wanted a girlfriend, tried his best to hide his blush when he saw other boys changing in the locker room. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He moved his hand ever so slightly close to Atsumu, an offer to take it in his own hand.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Atsumu did, a small smile on his lips, and Sakusa’s hand warm in his own, fingers interlaced . </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I’m gay, </span>
  </em>
  <span>thought Sakusa confidently for the first time. </span>
  <em>
    <span>I’m gay.</span>
  </em>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He mouthed the words quietly, barely a whisper, like practice for when he’d eventually say it out loud to Atsumu, and then to Motoya, and then to his teammates.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As the sun set around them, washing them in tones of pink and orange, and with Atsumu’s hand in his, Sakusa felt more certain than he had in a long time. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I’m gay.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>He whispered it this time, quietly, but still confident. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’d you say?” asked Atsumu softly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll tell you later,” Sakusa promised.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He would. He wanted to tell Atsumu, didn’t want to hide anything from him, but first, he needed to figure out his own feelings. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sakusa knew he felt something for Atsumu, but he wasn’t sure what it was. He was pretty strange to relationships, and he always thought it was something that just wasn’t meant for him, not what was actually just years of internalized homophobia. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Was he willing to tell him how he felt and risk ruining their friendship? He didn’t know yet. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>At least he knew he wanted to Atsumu he was gay. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It felt wrong to keep something this big from him, someone he shared volleyball (which was the most important thing in his life) with, his rival. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Some part of him also hoped that if he waited long enough, the tiny, <em>tiny, </em>bit of affection he felt for Atsumu would fade. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But the moment never came, and the feelings never did, and now they were stuck in some sort of limbo, floating around each other like some strange satellites. And Sakusa was left wondering if Atsumu liked him back. </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>there will be some action in the next chapter i promise... thank you for reading, please leave a comment i love talking to yall !</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>please leave kudos or a comment if u enjoyed!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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